Tuesday, December 8, 2009
I have talked to many young woman who are frustrated with their status of singleness. I asked Joy Peterson to tell her story about her season of singleness. Although it is written with that in mind I think Joy has some good advice for us all. Enjoy. I know it will bless you heart as it did mine.
Seasons of Life
In this life there are basically three seasons: singleness which we are born into, marriage which we choose and widowhood which often comes before we are ready. All of these are a gift from God which we can accept or reject. In truth we are forced to accept these seasons but the key is what our attitude will be in accepting them. Will it be one of gladness and joy or will it be in bitterness and resistance?
Early in my teens, God revealed to me that I could not be trusted to choose the man who would be the best mate for me. God knows me better than I know myself and He knows what is best for me. Therefore I surrendered to Him the choice and ask Him to choose the best man for me.
During college and PA school, I focused on my studies and didn’t pursue any relationships. I knew I couldn’t give myself to academics and give my best to a husband. But once my career was established, I was ready or so I thought. I started looking and examining my prospects. I would present to God “the One” I thought would do. But over and over again He would either say “No” or show me why that one wouldn’t work. So the waiting continued and continued.
After 10 years of wishing and waiting and through various events, I felt that God had called me to singleness. He had never promised me a husband and singleness wasn’t my choice, but again I surrendered to what I felt He was calling me to. I gave up “the hunt” and began to rest in this season of life. In surrendering I found peace and contentment. I began to embrace this life to which God had called me.
Shortly after this time as I was resting in the gift of singleness, who should appear but a man with great determination that I was to be his wife. Well, needless to say, I wasn’t as convinced of this as he was. I had been down this road before and been disappointed. I just kept holding on to what I felt God has called me to. I argued with God, “You called me to singleness. Why is the man here with such persistence? It won’t last. He will be like the others and leave after a while.” But that wasn’t the case with this one. God gave me a peace about Mark and revealed to me how he had chosen him for me. Eventually I surrendered to the call of marriage and married Mark.
If I could give any advice about a season of singleness I would encourage you to accept it with joy and live it to the fullness. Embrace all the opportunities God gives you during this time. God blessed me greatly during my season of singleness. I was able to participate in 5 mission trips. I traveled to Israel, Australia, England, Scotland and visited many U. S. cities. The friendships established in my single season have not been found here in the marriage season primarily because that relationship is to be found in a mate. Not that you don’t need friends in marriage, it is just different here.
In your season of waiting, ask God to prepare you for marriage, to develop in you what will be needed for the season of marriage and to remove from you anything that might injure your marriage. Lay down your expectations about what marriage will do for you. Receive all that God has for you now. Travel, make friends, and enjoy family- embrace life to the fullest. Don’t miss a minute of where God has you right now. Don’t wish for the next season just enjoy what you have right now because believe me it is His best for you today.