What do You want of me, my LORD?
I've shared before about the day I went walking in the park and it was a perfect day. The sky was blue and cloudless and there was a gentle wind, just like today. The lake spread out before me like a mirror catching the reflection of the trees and landscape. It was spectacular. With each step, I praised my KING. That is, until, the disruption happened. It was horrific. Two ducks were gliding across the lake (a male and a female) and one of them was squawking at the other. It was so loud and unceasing that the entire mood of the park seemed to instantly change. I wanted to cover my ears; I wanted to yell at the bird to be quiet. Yet, as they moved across the lake I suddenly hoped that it was the male who was being so utterly obnoxious. But it wasn't. It was the female, the wife. I hung my head. Then I knew it was a picture of how I talk to the LORD (and even my husband at times). OUCH! A one-sided monologue of complaints. How that bird's voice destroyed all the beauty around it; it was a curse and not a blessing. And so on that day, the LORD, in HIS great mercy, began a work in me. A work that continues on today. It is a work of being still at times and listening.
Why is this so hard for me to do?
The difficulty comes in receiving. The difficulty comes in believing. The difficulty comes in hearing and applying. The difficulty comes in being still and not always doing. Perhaps you are here with me. And so our KING invites us to come and speak to Him and then invites us to rest and be silent. The silence is not only so He can speak life into us but so He can touch and heal us in our still surrender to Him. I know that the LORD had me be a part of the prayer ministry so that I would be praying more consistently. He started the noon-time prayer hour on Fridays for women so that we could come together and pray to HIM. We see Him answering our prayers but not until recently did we add a time of silence at the end--to see what He might say to us. He is growing us in prayer.
I'm learning that prayer is not a monologue but a dialogue and that our Jesus wants to speak to us and strengthen, encourage, comfort and lead us. Yet, surprisingly, the struggle remains and I still may sound like that quacking duck--and even avoid the silence, but He waits and reminds me. PRAISE our KING for His love and mercy. PRAISE HIM who teaches us what is best.