Always when I say I am not able, I get the same answer from the Lord. He says, ‘I know you can’t. I have known it already a long time. I am glad now you know it for yourself, for now you can let Me do it’.
That quote came to me through email one morning with the message that someone needed to hear it but the person sending it wasn’t sure who it was. I was very sure who it was. It was most definitely me. I was a certified, card-toting member of Control Freaks of America. I liked to be in control – mainly my home, my children, my job, my marriage, my world, my destiny. You just name it; I wanted to be in control of it.
As Dr Phil would say - that wasn’t working so well for me. I had definitely hit the wall God had planted before me. My tactics, intellect, strategy - nothing was working. I had done everything in my control, and I could not change the thing I so desperately needed to be changed. I guess God had finally brought me to the point that HE knew I was ready to listen to Him. And His words were “STOP IT”.
I have to say I was relieved. Relieved of the pressure, relieved of the responsibility, relieved of the trap Satan had set for me. I waved my white flag at God and said - OK, I will trust You to do what You feel needs to be done. In Your way and in Your time. I will sign the check. You write it. I will do what you tell me to and how you tell me to do it. I was free. I was free to trust God and His mighty power. Free from responsibility He never intended for me and that I could never handle. Did you know He is so much more powerful than we are? I had no idea. I had no idea how powerless I was and how powerful He is. I had no idea how He could turn something so miserable into something for HIS GLORY. I had no idea how free I could be just resting in His mighty power.
Today, I am a reformed control freak and thankful to my awesome God for it. I am sure God is in control of this universe. HE is also in control of every detail in my life. He loves me. He sees me. He hears me. Not just me, but each and every one. My circumstances may not always be perfect (but whose are?), but God is in control and I know He has plans for me. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) I am counting on it.